HOORAY! *jumps*

i'm finally done with my rescue work.
can u imagine?
everything was GONE and i don't even know why and how.
it still remains as a mystery though.
but i shall rejoice at the fact that i got them back.
*smiless*

i feel so colourfulllll!!!!!
and colours really make me happpy.
=)
nah'mind about the black background,
u'll realise that everything else's the beautiful colours
pardon me-
i'm not really an expert at colour matching
i just picked the colours i liked.
:)

aren't those forever friends bears cute anyways? :)
VERY COLOURFUL RITE!?
haha. just kinda hope,
anyone who was feeling down will feel perky after this
colour therapy :)
life's beautiful, ain't it!?

can't imagine i'm still sounding happy after all my lousy grades
but i guess they don't really have an impact on me
to me prelims' just a warm up and experience :)
tze shuen was like, "you sound like you did very well" cos he was asking me and fang how we did.
den i was like "haha. i think i get 80 or 40 also like tt de." :)
if u ask me, there's the good and bad
with the carrying of such
"bu shang jing" attitude...

but to cover tt,
maybe i'd just say, i'm glad for myself
i have kind of found my direction in life;
have an inkling how i want to spend my life
definitely not a 9-5 job...
-grins-

but then again,
as a student right now,
there's of course the imperative to do well as a student.
that's my job as of present.
besides,
i dun wanna let my brainpower go to waste.
i'm not gonna, when i'm 50,
feel the regret of not getting AAA for my A-levels
i'm gonna work hard for As k :)

pals,
i guess some of us have fallen short of our very own expectations
but fear not, fret not, worry not,
it's the big As that will matter more... :)
don't be disheartened ok :)
like i msged yaying and yanfang,
i'm pretty confident and certain that ALL of us will do well ultimately
get over prelims.

"my guardian angel will look over all of us...."

*beams*

i feel like blogging a long entry today
but there's not much i feel strongly abouttt.
cuz i haven't been following the news.....

OH YES!

SINGAPORE IDOL!

quite disappointing lah. today's show.
but they MUST be forgiven
it's their first performance officially as top 12.
so there's no doubt some butterflies in their stomach.
CHRISSYPOOO!!!!!!! he's got such an amazing voice...
but he stops at the point where he's in front of a river
that needs him to take a big leap
i guess that applies for all the finalists actually
i suppose the luckiest of them all is
SYL.
his start was off-pitch.
and i was getting SO worried for him
cos his presence kinda makes me happy.
so that means i DON'T want to see him out so soon. ;p
i don't know why.
don't you agree, mich? haha.
adding to our jang dong gun, ian thorpe list, is syl huh.
=)

i'm gonna vote for syl.
i really dun wan him to leave anytime sooon.
but i must say,
when i saw Jeassea,
i thought i saw a blooming star.
admit it, she's got the looks, and the voice...
star quality really.
but not those kind, i feel, who will draw themselves close to the audience

i still prefer syl and chrissypoo.
:)))

but i love Leandra's voice. maybe Beverly's tooo.
missed leandra's performance though :(
if bev hasn't shed her tears like a tap,
i would have liked her more...
she really has a great tone to her voice :)
but i don't mind if she's out...not that i'll be sad or anythin.

that reminds me of how upset i was when Latoya London was out.
BOO!
and when is her album comin out...
can't wait to hear her sing again :)

jarnei.




caught Jane Xie> day-dreaming at 9/30/2004 10:14:00 PM

life's a dream with its sunrises and sunsets

i was sooooooo *argh*

i was tryin' to upload my own pictures for this blog last nite
and it was all deleted.
PAH!!!!

today was a terribly irritating day. :.>
i barely passed my math.
lucky my stats pulled me up.
not that it's a decent mark anyway.
enough bout this :>

i'm really into david tao now.
so i uploaded this song
"Dear God".
please listen to it yah it's so meaningful...
tt explains why i really admire singers or entertainers
who don't do music for the sake of money and fame
but do it because they recognise that music has the power
to spread the love. n tt's what david tao believes in...
music IS powerful. it jerks the emotions in you
let's not forget that on another part of this world
there are countless beings like us,
just less fortunate
who are not asking for anything more than every second of their lives
to be spent in peace.

let this music heal Y(OUR) soul. :)

love, jarnei.

caught Jane Xie> day-dreaming at 9/30/2004 11:49:00 AM

life's a dream with its sunrises and sunsets

i'm so full i look pregnantt!!

had a great day today!
spent the afternooon @ kbox with
fang, yun and xin! :)
fang sang her faye wong songss n her mayday n her jay songss.
and a classic- my heart will go on.
with the er xin mtv. grossss!!
xin dueted with david tao.
and i think he biao bai to her.
and so did she.
yun sangg all the duet songs
difference is she sing all the parts!! haha
really fun.
i sang my f.i.r and yanzi, and expectedly
i went out of tune, my voice cracked and what not. :)))
but we're there to have fun anyways
not for some singing competition lah
so for me, i don't really care about sounding good notx.

came home and sang f.i.r AGAIN. so tired i fell asleep.
went to meet ying mich fang fu for steamboat fish. :)
delicious.
the kunkong (ma3 lai2 feng1 guang1) was exciting :))
after tt, as if all weren't enough
we ate durianss!!!!!! yummmy!
but pity that fu couldn't get used to the taste.
if not it'd be great funnn!!!!
nex time must meet and do this more often.
WE WERE ALL SO FULLLLLL!!!!

joke of the day: chang'e's pet is not a white rabbit. it's a white cat.
joker: zhou yanfang (yes, the one who lamented why terrorists just wouldnt come catch me)

listening to melody by david tao now.
what can i say? david's live is SO DAMN ZAI
it's the concert version.
i suppose hk's concert's surround sound system must be of top standard
for david to have his concert version recorded there.
sounded as if it was from studio.
tt's how zai his live is.

really love and admire singers who can live sing.
=)
like faye(f.i.r) david leehom.
they're my favourite. n of course yanzi :)

scold me slow or whatever :p
i just finished all 4 volumes for meteor II.
i stopped at volume II the other time.

i'm convinced tt living for each day and living as if you have no tmr
is one of the most xing fu thing that can happen to us.
like for me, i don't really save up.
it's good some ways, bad in other wayss.
it's nice if u earn what u spend each day
then each day begins with a fresh beginning
our expectations of our lives are reduced to its simplest
isn't it?

but some people find xing fu in wealth, superiority and what not.
well i suppose one man's meat is another's poison.
i think if in this life, we can find that someone special to share our lives with
lead a financially stable and healthy life together
tt'd be just right, just enough.

somehow i believe,
if someone is really your meant-to-be,
no matter how many merry go round trips u make
u'll be back two-gether. :)
but of course,
both must be the gan3 ai4 gan3 hen4 type....

maybe this is what you call being hopelessly idealistic.
but i DO believe that true love is a love of courage :)

wat u tinkk?

but forget not, we must love this world too yeah! :)

caught Jane Xie> day-dreaming at 9/28/2004 08:54:00 PM

life's a dream with its sunrises and sunsets

i'm dead bored.

requires no further elaboration
i'm just so bored.
i think i just 'let pigeon' today
again. -cheeky smile-.

won't 11pm come just right now.
and won't time stop at 12.15 please?

but even if love waits
time doesn't.
boohoo.
anws, lookin' forward to tomorrow anyway
gonna go shop around with shui in the afternooon.
and say, gotta teach my couz physics after tt.

-grins-.

kill my boredom pleasee.
nahminds. i shall go bang on my piano [again]
and make my neighbours pull their hair outtt.
:]

caught Jane Xie> day-dreaming at 9/25/2004 07:37:00 PM

life's a dream with its sunrises and sunsets

oh mans. i'm so happyyyy...

that i'm back bloggin again. so how did i solve my dumb-ass problemo.
i upgraded my IE so tt i could sign up for gmail. bahs.
thanks yaoz for givin me the add anyways. :)

OH MAN!!! I'M SO HAPPY!
i'm back to frequent bloggin. hooray!
let's see. months ago, i blogged like i spent my whole day online.
then came blogger upgrades that rendered me staring at a useless page
of javascript which my dumb browser fails to cooperate with.
and yes, the once-every-two-weeks bloggin.

and so there were the miserable times when i had to much to pour out
the frustrations
the angst
the elation
all the damn rollercoaster emotions i experience in this simple life of mine.

uhhh.
thank God that all my dumb prelim paper' over.
be glad it's over.
doom when it's time to swallow the hard painful times when i see the OOOs for my three pathetic papers.

arghhh. i'm so dooomed.
*pulllls a loooooooooooooong face.*
it's quite disheartening to know that u're not cut out for ur fav sub.

WHY!!!!!!!!
look. i was more than fantastic for chem in secondary schoool.
i never needed to prepare much for the chem tests yet still can ace them.
tok about A1s. i tell u i'll bank on my chem.
GOsh. n those WERE the days.
i'm so down i'm so sad. i loved chem.
until this legendary "random random, i'm not pinpointing at anyone(and note: his 5 fingers will be pointing at u.)" teacher stepped into my jc life.
he'd spend half the lesson(i mean, EVERY chem lesson) explaining the Boltzmann curve.
lamenting that my class' marks are averaging from the worst to the best.
while the best class 03S78, secures the higher end of the curve.
and again, he rambles on and on about S-papers.
which was never near and into my thoughts anyway.
chem was casted to e back of my mind.

until mrs lee, the classic came into our lives.
"Dun worry, you all trust me, i will make sure u all get As"
and this was how she injected the much needed confidence into us
the lost souls.

ehhh. but dun play play.
i think i din leave a good first impression on this amazing teacher.
oh wells, who would, with obvious dyed hair,
and some look that others have commented to be "buey tak ceh". (cannot/dun study. die oso dun wan study).

but now we're like. haha. joke pals ah.
that day, we were just kiddin that we were JIE MEI our past lives.
so that's the kind of bond i share with my chem teacher, mrs lee.
very pleasant, very sweet, yet sometimes a sensed pressure.

let's put it this way,
i'd excel in the things i believe in, because i'm doin' it for myself.
for chem, i do it for myself, but some part of it is to not disappoint mrs lee.
tt's why sometimes i'd feel so scared to walk past her,
not cos i never tuck in my shirt or whatever disciplinary shit
(cuz i think i've been quite lucky and i guess, smart and talkative enough to get past that haha)
it's just this tinge of mild guilt. mild cuz i think guilt's an overstatement for that ambiguious feelin' i feel inside.

i'm sad.
sad cuz...i'm gonna disappoint mrs lee again.
sad cuz...i can't do chem anymore.
:(
i thought i had this chem streak in me.
i could do papers with my eyes closed.
practicals to the maximum accuray.
simply, i was good.
yeah, WAS.

now?

for EVERY paper,
i read my questions wrongly.
i get my values wrong.
i miss a word of the whole question.
and pop. there goes the damn mark.

why in the fuggin world am i so careless.
ARGH.

i just dun understand why.
out of phy math chem
i do chem most willingly
then physics
then maths.

yet
i score best for math.
better for physics.
and WORST for chem.
ARGH.

and it always happens that wayyy.
I AM CONFUSED!
maybe i shouldn't study for chem at all lah!!!!!!!!!!!

chem would be so much fun-ner for me and everyone else
if not for all the memory work.
ARGH.

it sucks.
_____________________________________________________________

kays. on a more un-argh note,
fang ying mich fu came over todayy.
and exploited me.

but towards the end,
fu player left hand; ying the right
and fang and i started singing our karaoke.
oks, let's call that the PIANO SHOW
hehehehe!
:)))

tt reminds mee. it's ktvvv for fang xin and myself on tuessss.
and feast on tues nite.

gonna go shop and prepare for my prom nite gown on sun with shui.
got a good deal.
can't wait for my white gown ;)
that reminds me
the last time we went to all the bridal shops to try the gowns
i was like,"oh noo. i wanna get married."
haha. let's see.
i'll wait fer my sis to get married lah.

shrugsss. but marriage's so elusive.
maybe i'm still livin in the failure of my parents' marriage.
nahs. on the same hand,
i can't rid off the thinking that men can't be trusted.
i'm so sorrry to the guys readin this haha.

to me, every 9.5 out of 10 man will end up with a fling
which means, extra marital affairs.
not alarming. my dad had like 2 wives and a current one.
in any case, i'll take it that that's a fact 'cuz i'm a girl.
if you get what im drivin' at.

flings flings flings.

and the society's changing to the way things are
because our values aren't right anymore
well u may question
what's the right and the wrong?

to me,
it's the sincerity to keep to your vows from the moment you commit the

"I DO".

caught Jane Xie> day-dreaming at 9/24/2004 11:27:00 PM

life's a dream with its sunrises and sunsets

(: :(

tt's how paradoxical life can be ain't it?
here i sit, feeling both the emotions of pride.
as well as some kind of poignance and regret.

hmmmm.
watched the Awakening of Asia on Channelnewsasia. :)
yeppps. how can i miss that show, when it's about Olympics hahaha!
boy am i proud to be an Asian.
we've progressed so much, from zilch to world-acknowledged standings on the medal tally.
maybe it's not the medals that matter, as what our PM would say
and i do agree.
but it's this Asian spirit, more specifically, the Chinese fighting spirit
that i adhere to.
somehow, when you see a fellow Chinese on the highest podium,
awaiting the heavy gold to be donned on him
it's some kind of unexplanable heart-accelerating sensation i get
of cos, that comes when my fav thorpeeeee comes on too :) *grins* (at mich.)
heh heh. she's been tolerating my thorpeee nonsense since i-dunoo-when.
hey i still remember yeah, your friends teased you about falling into the pooool,
then thorpeeee will save you rites!!!!
most unexpected of all, mich actually imagined that in her wild wild vivid bubble above her head.
haha. oops. i'm blushing with embarrassment for youuuuu :)

*blush*

ah yes. back to this sense of pride.
everytime i watch the jubilation of the athletes play before my eyes
there's this surge of emotions, as well as tears, that starts to well up,
in my heart. in my eyes. yeah!
i actually am close to tears for THAT many times. emotional, huh ? :)
even if i'm just an onlooker from a thousand miles away
there's this connection of recognition that hardwork pays off.
worked so hard; come so far.
but there's nonetheless those who underperformed.
but all is not lost. see, there's the fighting spirit..

and to my fwensss. :)
please open your heart and dare to dream..... *smiles*
ask phelps what propels him in the water since a humble 5th position in Sydney for butterfly(i think) 4 years back, returning home to USA as just-another-experience-competition, and he'd gladly flash a wide grin across his relatively small face(as compared to his neck hahahah) and say:

i have dreamt about this all the time.

i'm sure many would have read about this in the papers rights.but here's another one.
newly crowned gymnast queen, after the retirement of gymnast-cum-pornstar Khorkina, Carly Patterson actually said that she's been dreaming about it all the time as well, and really getting it at the tender age of i think 16, is "amazing". paul hamm too. :) :) :) :).

and it's this ready to fight till the end spirit that touches me even at a deeper level.
how many of us will actually give up our relaxed and common, sometimes-exciting-sometimes ordinary and boring life for countless days and hours of trainings that drive you to the ultimate numbness?
and what's the bid in return?
an olympic gold? hmmm. how are they so sure?

maybe that's the way singaporeans are.
not risk-taking enough. i mean i agree that we're improving and
today's a different story from years back. tt's totally cool ;)

in any case. i just love the sports scene so much.
i'm filled with so much awe.
and of course, admiration for all these athletes, as well as the aspiring ones :)

to end it off,
i love ian thorpeeee!!!!!!!!

and maybe phelps too :) :) who says i can't have the best of both worldsss. hee :)

and not to forget, never to forget,
paul hamm.
zhang yi ning.
mark chay.

i like so many until i cannot remember!!haha.
my classmates'd know.
how much i ramble on and on after the days of Olympic Games.

Kudos to the athletes.
YEAH!
____________________________________________________________________________________

ah yes. and about the disappointment and regret...........

sometimes i really wonder how much i can do to alleviate the worries of this world.
we really need a lot of love now.
the russian school siege witnessed the loss of over 200 lives.
remember, even the young weren't spared.
nope. they weren't.

that brings me to wonder.
how can there be people devoid of human emotions...
is it so that their will and outrage to fight for their independence
has overpowered their telling ability as a human- their feelings?

*thinks*

sighh. it definitely was disheartening to read the news reports,
hear about them on the news
and yet, so helpless about it.

that explains why i wanna work for the United Nations. haha.
but then again, i wanna work for so many organisationsss!!!

see, now i wanna work for IOC. arghhh. haha.

I WANNA WORK FOR IAN THORPE INC. LAH!

then i also wanna work for..................................
hospital.
my country. i ever thought of becoming a politician lor....................
but what killed that thought was the dirty politics.

see, that's the irony in life.
there's the bad, there's the good.
but that's something about me as well.
so aspired by the ideals that i'm so fearful of the power of the evil,
that may bite into my conscience and bite away a big piece of it.
if you get my point. :)

ok . back to the topicc.
i wanna tell u all hor.
if ever, i mean EVER, i'm NOT cursing you all, heh heh.
you fall into hostage takers' hands,

PLEASE DON'T CRY INTO THE CAMERA AND BEG YOUR COUNTRY(SINGAPORE) TO SAVE YOU OK!!!!
even if the terrorists din kill you,
i think i will.

eh. u one life.
singapore 4. something million lives.
WHY SHOULD THE COUNTRY BOW DOWN TO TERRORISTS CAUSE OF U.
ok that sounded too patriotic.

but that's it-
let's not bow down to terrorism,
no matter how urgent their own pleas are.
we all must come to realise that violence is NOT the way out.
never should it, neither will it.

it only continues to hurt,
and deepen the roots of hatred,
rendering more difficult to remove.

on certain stands, i agree that terrorists are worth our attention
they are merely makin use of the media to make known their oppression and all, if there was any at all.
prolly that may be justifiable. but back to the gist of it.
violence isn't.

ok anyways. if you were ever captured by these misguided, disillusioned, misuse beings,
and they happen to be that hi-tech hor, and place that camera in front of your face,
please scream into the camera

"don't come and save me hor, singapore. we cannot bow down to terrorism."

but bear in mind- remember to add some tears.
speak in a tone that sounds as if you were pleading your country to send some helipcopters to rescue you.
ah.
nono, to withdraw troops from the iraq/blah blah country.

u know why?
because i don't think they will understand what you are mumbling about.
but if you can show that you are crying, and present yourself to be in a very pitiful state,
they will think that ah.

yes. she is begging her country...

REMEMBER HOR!

not any means to insinuation, but yes indeed
they aren't very educated one lor.
if they were, chances are that they won't fall to be the slaves of the manipulators of terrorism.
sigh. will they every come to realisation that they are not the so-called martyrs,
but only the ummmm. useless beings that are sent to die?

ahhh.
ok. long entry. that's cuz i haven't blogged for a donkey yearss.

ok byebye. dion very happy liao.
muahahahhaha.

*waves to all my friends*

if i ever get captured, i will remember to ask singapore to don't save me
and i'll add in this line:

"thanks yanfang, my dear friend, i've finally fallen prey to the terrorists......gooooddddbyyyyeeeeee...."

yeah lorh. she actually shouted one day

"why the terrorists dun wan come and catch you!!!!!!!"

ah sians. what are friends for?
ah. nono.

as first heard from my gp tutor,

"with friends like that, you don't need enemies (lor...)"

signing off, (finally)
with a million bags of love,
JARNEI~!

caught Jane Xie> day-dreaming at 9/04/2004 08:08:00 PM

life's a dream with its sunrises and sunsets