contentment (:

i'm been beaming with joy since yester-evening.
hEh.
plus i've been listening to yanzi's album for over ten times.
-grins-

but frankly,
i kinda expected more from this album.
shrugs! but anyways.
i suppose u won't be impressed for the first few times you listen to it
but listen a few more times you'll realise that there are quite some songs that are pretty special.
i quite like ben1, and man man lai2...
got this song sound like she recorded it in South Africa haha! =p
well, i've waited a long while for this album =)

i realised there's so much to do for chem. =(
thanks for all e wellwishers :)
to those takin' Os and As as well
all e best =)

back to listening to yanzi.
(=
the songs are relatively easier to sing haha
as compared to SHEN QI.
which still is one of my all-time favs.
as said, i won't remove her album from my cd player for the next 2 weeks man.
heh heh.
=p

i'm happy.
and that's an understatement.
-grins-~!~!~!


caught Jane Xie> day-dreaming at 10/31/2004 07:42:00 PM

life's a dream with its sunrises and sunsets

BOO.

not the scary typa boo.
it's the booooooooooooooooo.
plus a sad face. :(

yanzi album postpone till tmr.
always like tt one nor!
make me so excited den extend my anticipation.
tao yan.

i was like walking around in J8.
yuling aunty and me went up to sembawang music that level
and i RUN in to ask for the album
only to know that the stock arrives only tmr.
i so sad lor.
then i thought cos sembawang music abit ulu that's why late arrival.
(but their prices very reasonable!!!!)
then i called up cdrama.
den confirm loh. no yanzi until tmr lor.
:(

then we went ntuc to buy grocery.
saw diya! and she asked her brother to call me aunty.
>_<
haha. her bro very cute and shuai!
cute cute one.
outgoing one.

i can't wait for yanzi k.
pls dun postpone the date again :(!

today. i finally penned an essay and did 5 math qns.
tt's quite little i would say.
but shrugs. no mood.
just pray tmr got better mood lah~!

caught Jane Xie> day-dreaming at 10/29/2004 10:31:00 PM

life's a dream with its sunrises and sunsets

(= eEksIgh3rd!

i'm so excited i woke up early. like 5+, 6.
no lah, actually cuz i stayed overnite at aunt's place.
gotta wake up early to come home :)
downloaded the short version of yanzi's wo de ai.
singing it non-stop now.
i'm really excited!!
i actually gave the cd-shop person my number so that when the stock arrives, she'll call me.
and i'll chiong down to buy.
waited so long for this album :)
i'm really very happy!! =p

emotional u call that.
i was just so upset yesterday! haha.
cuz actually before the pracs,
there has been rumours spreading about whatever that will come out.
while others rejoiced at the fact that whatever they heard did come out
people like me who knew nothing about it were painfully edged out.

but it's no longer painful now =)
i guess it's really alot to do with the mind.
bryant told me such unfair happenings always occur.
and this reminds me of the quote i read from my little book,
"Sometimes things can be very unfair. But remember, sometimes it's unfair in your favour."
just that this time, the luck's not with me. (=

but even if i did get to hear the rumour, i'd just spread around so that it'll be fair?
definitely won't keep it to myself. :)
that's what i've learnt from nanyang. though you may say, it's still unfair cos it's impossible for the whole cohort to learn the rumour. you're right. but well, i won't be a friend who'll keep it to myself.
that's what i've learnt from my ny friends. =)

in any case. i sorted out my thinking .
=)
if those people who got to know the rumour and because of that, marginalised those who din know anything(who played a fair game. but realised that ultimately in this world, there's almost nothing fair. i'm pretty convinced it's a dog-eat-dog world. but i shant' stoop so low to become a dog.) and got their deserved distinction, tat's great for them! :)
but they'll know themselves better.

and i'll know myself better too! =)
yuankai's right. i'm more than what the result slip reflects.
and i have been believing in that since i don't know when.
but realised along the way, during this prep time,
i'm slowly becoming more disillusioned and that's bad.
but i'm glad i'm back to the tenacious jane - against all odds.

thanks to my kor for listening to my nonsense ahha and knocking a whole lot of sense. =)
and i'll always remember what he said.
"actually your results would have been pre-determined."
something like God has a plan for all of us.
there'll be a reason why we got whatever we got.
but of course, don't resign to that statement either because i think a lot of things in the world are worth fighting for. =)!
and even if i din meet up to my expectations,
God wanted me to learn something from it and i'm slowly getting to it.
that the world is actually no longer the perfect utopian country i see.
alot of politics. people around you may have some things up that sleeve of theirs.
and remember, even the tamest looking rabbit can bite you. =*)
that was perhaps something i din learn in ny. cuz almost everyone was nice.

and if i have what it takes and the calibre,
there's nothing to fear.

to some of my friends who may still feel very gek about it e.g. jiahui...
just wanna tell u.
we'll turn the unfairness to fairness yeah :)!
*chuckles*

enough of the lousy toots.
can u imagine? :))))!
in less than say, 7 hours, i'd probably get my hands on whose cd?
YANZI! heh heh heH!!!! :) :) :) !!!!
sense my excitement.
i think yanzi makes a lot of troubles go away.
heehee :)!!!!!

"forget your perfectionist self and style if it's working against you. go and do the paper and be happy about it."

caught Jane Xie> day-dreaming at 10/29/2004 07:15:00 AM

life's a dream with its sunrises and sunsets

i dunoo to smile or cry?

cry cuz.
i screwed up both my pracs.
i'm just keeping my fingers crossed in hope that this will not pull me down a grade.
hopefully i'll earn those marks back somehow.
though i have no idea how. :)

abit bored now.
just heard shania twain's From this Moment on!
beautiful song..
and realised Five for Fighting's got many nice nice songs ;)

smile cuz
the album i've been waiting for a year plus' gonna be out tmr ;)
i even got ready $20 to buy it~! :) :) :) :)
yanzi!!!!!!!!!!!!
i can hear that familiar voice once again =)
i shan't pluck out that CD from my cdplayer for 2 months.
=)
and u can bet on the fact that after 3 days i prolly can sing every song to u
hahA!

guess yanzi made my day again! =)
*GRINS*!

caught Jane Xie> day-dreaming at 10/28/2004 02:59:00 PM

life's a dream with its sunrises and sunsets

blank stares.

heh heh heh!
i'm staring blankly into space now
empty thoughts precipitatin

i'm gonna do math later k.
no more procrastination.
today did like 2 chapts of phy and had tuition after tt.

dunoo if i should be happy with that worthless achievement.
happy cos at least i did something
unhappy cuz say, it's only like 2 chapts out of another say, 8 chapts to complete.

but it's okay. quality's more impt rite :)
tmr's my math day. gonna pia math liaoz.
cool.

i'm gonna ace my As k.
i will. and i must.

wheeheehee.

waitin for summer scent to start ahha.
poor huiyuan kana taken advantage of tonitee.
i think she's like super cute man!!!!
if i'm a guy, i'd also wanna protect her loh!

(=

to all my pals takin the Os/As
jiayou!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

caught Jane Xie> day-dreaming at 10/23/2004 10:42:00 PM

life's a dream with its sunrises and sunsets

pique

i'm getting really irritated with the migraine that's been bugging me the whole afternoon. it just stings u at the back of the head and u're like, what the hell.
i slept already but it doesn't seem to help
i tried to drink a lot of water but it also doesn't seem to help
in fact aunty rita just said my face is shui zhong since when was i actually prone to water retention.

migraine. headaches. ARGH.

today went back find mrs lee. got to clear up some stuff, and learnt new things.
but somehow, ironically, i just didn't feel right.
mrs lee was like... "dunoo whether you really know or u dunoo."
and i thought it just worsened the doubt i'm harbouring about
whether i'm ready for As not.

MAN.

yesss. the i-don't-give-a-damn- person is actually freaking out cos of As.
i dun wan to do badly for As, especially when people around are gonna ace it.
and eff, it's not like it's not within my capabilities.
my only stumbling block now?
i have fuckin' lot to memorise and i'm freaking out
i really am.
i'm getting stressed because my memory's really like shit.
and i have to get all geared up to be a regurgitative machine.
well. fine, that's when i actually am able to stuff myself with that whole lot of info.

mrs lee's right.
it's time i start memorising my facts.

can't help it if i don't have photographic memory.

that's how much irritation you can get out of a
fugging migraine.

i'm irritated and i'm freaked out.
so that's what the singapore education system holds for us.

*bows*.

i finally understand.
(=

but on the brighter note.
once the As start, it will end damn soon.
and even IF i don't get my 3+1 As, i probably won't dwell on it for too long
because i know i still can make it in life
it's YOUR loss for not being my employer.
i'm a talent HAHAHA!

(=(=(=

kelly clarkson's breakaway.

caught Jane Xie> day-dreaming at 10/22/2004 05:15:00 PM

life's a dream with its sunrises and sunsets

R-U-MEE?

nehs. my oh my.
guess what sinful thing did i do today though i did enjoy myself heez.
i watched Ayumi VCD. yeah. Ayumi Hamasaki.
=)
i have to commend her for her great live and vocalss.
very sweet voice she has.:)
everytime she comes out with a new and elaborate outfit
i just can't stop wow-ing.
and i'm SO envious of her slim legs. really really!
din do any work today. that's another sinful thing :(
i'm really starting to panic. think i can't finish my math, chem and physics on time.

gosh. do i really have to resort to praying that things i don't know don't come out! haha.
i thought i'd be able to put behind this unbecoming habit of mine :(
it's okay. i shall work harder tmr k.

i killed 2 mosquitoes. one of them looks like the dengue mosquito.
can't remember what it's exactly called lah!
got kind of paranoid because i dun wanna fall sick during this critical period of time.
if i've been a consistent student, i don't mind
but hellloooo, i still have tons of work untouched and knowledged undrilled into me.

pls don't let me fall ill.

:(
goodness goodnesss.

i watched Get Rea! just now and the discussion was about blogging haha!
quite interesting i would sayy.
:)
next week's issue will be even more heart grabbing.
it's about ur spouse having an affair outside.
which, like i've said before, i feel is a prominent issue today.
infidelity of your significant half. and coindentally, i read Cleo's article about that today as welll.
hmmmm. i guess if it really happens to anyone,
both parties must be really magnanimous to be able to look beyond one of the gravest mistake and antithesis to the marriage vow. shrugsss. in my view of men, 9.5/10 will cheat on their girlfriends. but let's be fair, i don't think that's only applicable to guys cuz i do hear and know of girls cheating too. ah wells. talk about equality.

panic panic. i really don't think i'm the least prepared for As.
bless me.

i must pia tmr k.

caught Jane Xie> day-dreaming at 10/20/2004 10:32:00 PM

life's a dream with its sunrises and sunsets

:)

it's been a few days since i last blogged, about something quite sad.
but in any case, i'm fine now! really :)
past few days been a rollercoaster ride for me
masked in this thrilling journey are lessons learnt. many of them actually :)
did some thinking about a lot of things...
among them are friendship, education and my ambition.

=)

friendshipsss.
this brings me back to what jeremy said during our class sharing with Mrs Lee, our chem tutor :)
when we came to hwa chong, i guess it's fate that brought s66 together.
all of us came in with a hellota expectations of what others should have been.
not a surprise, since most of us came from the SAP schools...nanyang, stnicks, dhs, cathigh, chinese high and all.
in fact, i think only tze shuen was the only one wearing long pants...

and this means that the whole lot of us originated from single-ed schools. so well u know,
that's 4 years of little contact with the opposite gender. quite an imbalance really.
but upon reflection, i realise life in hwachong did teach me some things...
dispelled certain naivete that's been embedded in my life through my years in nanyang...
so i guess i don't hate hwa chong that much....grateful in fact.

and such emotions are a kind of nature's gentle reminder to myself that each journey is a life lesson learnt, plus a new experience to be added to life's diary.
i realised i'm always like that.. haha!
do u know i hated nanyang to the core when i was in sec1 and sec2? hehz.
in my mind were only thoughts of transferring OUT of nygh. to another school of my preferance like RGS.
and that never happened, duh. part of the reason was i found a place where i could root myself in in nanyang. and that was npcc..:)

then i went on to sec3, still filled with a bit of regret....somehow at that time, i'd have given up on the thought of transferring to RGS.(helllo. i cried when i missed the entrance test!). proceeded to the upper secondary school life, with this twing of resignation hiding somewhere in my heart. even up till today, i still do wonder who would i be if i didn't transfer out of st nicks pri to nyps, accepted my coach's offer to rgs...man. that's when i really believe that God DOES have a plan for all of us.

of so many permutated crossroads and junctions that happen in every second of our lives, there MUST be a unseen force that propels us to choose whichever path we did, that lead us to who we are today. and i'm a strong believer of tt. :)

back to ny years..3/4 din have much spirit...all of us were more attached to our own CCAs so i guess we din have much time or extra efforts to be planted into this class...but i'm reeally glad we bonded in 4/4...the few of us were pretty much selfless in giving and sharing whatever we had with our classmates...comforting each other about our prelim results..staying back after school to MUG together...

that's why it's double happiness when our class did so darn well for Os. :) :) :) :). it really brings back smilesss.

and i hope this history will repeat itself in my life again, at this juncture.
it's the A-levels that's gonna chiong right at us. and we MUST chiong back at it.

FIGJT!FIGHT!FIGHT!

really hope ALL of us will be in great elations some time next march, holding our heads up high, with pride and thanking our teachers for their guidance. i'm sure all the teachers did teach me some lessons..
like random random...he taught me about hypocrisy. mrs lee and mdm toh, life's lessons....mr chan, about being so pai seh as a tutor. mrs KOH!!!(i'm her slave, i'm her math reppppp!!!!) about having babies! haha.just kidding. but i really believe in faTe. :)

it's funny how i always enter a school feeling so KANASAI about it....
then it ends with me feeling so thankful that it all did happen...
but but but...
i still think nothing's comparable to nanyang....

i really love ny kkk. the school..the admin...the teachers...(except for some who are really so hypocritical!!)
u know what, i may not have the best in life, with quite a broken family. out-of-the-ordinary family structure i would say...but i still feel i'm very xing fu... :) i don't have a lot of regrets, maybe one or two irreversible ones... but i really feel very xing fu...i dare say i've passed my rebellious years..and have emerged out of it, a stronger person...=)

i always tell my aunt, my guardian....
"i know i know!!!! my behaviour not good...but i know my character and thinking are on the right track. so u don't have to worry about me..." sometimes i really DO hope that this helps abate the tension in her life. having to raise 5+1(that's me) kids is no easy feat. trust me. and i do believe alot in myself. sometimes a little too much i guess. *smiles sheepishly*.

i think i'm a very kanasai person sometimes...but i'm really confident of whatever decisions i make..
and when i do make them i really do try to make the best out of it.
but of course there are times when the sad string pulls my heart..sometimes i can get over it very easily.
sometimes i don't...this time i couldn't get past it.
maybe cuz i've been slacking around at home..u know the worst thoughts hit you when u're alone doing nothing.

sooooooo. to my pals in school. :) :
i mean it when i said i din mean to hurt, and i mean it when i say i'm fine.
so i'm really fine. it's just an accidental time when i couldn't straighten things out and reason with myself rationally and of course, allow my emotions get the better of me. i'll admit it, aiya i really dun like to bluff ppl, sometimes i do feel our lives aren't exciting enough...and maybe our friendship not strong enough.
looking back, it'd seem like we'd just spend our time with each other slacking and sleeping together in lectures...u know like, some kind of mundane life, without much excitement injected...
we do alot of working out with each other...and i always felt there was someting missing in our lives...
maybe it's hc's culture, maybe it's becauz i do miss the times when i could just run around doing silly things with my other dun-care-about-image friends (not saying that u guys do, but comparatively, more reserved i suppose :)) but through this episode which led me to deeper reflections of our class in general, and our friendship in details.. i've learnt not to put my expectations of other friends into this friendship i share with u guys :) great lesson learnt. aunty gang's a special gang itself. -grins- thanks for the memories spent and the photos taken HAHAHA!
_____________________________________________________________________________________

and recently i thought about the issue of education haha!
i'm gonna introduce this super cool quote from this mad-scientist.

"Education is what remains after one has forgotten everything he learned in school" - Albert Einstein

so we should indeed feel kanasai about saying that singapore has one of the best education system in the world, where her students and youth have been successfully transformed into regurgitative machines!
hell with exams, but sadly, not in my era so i still have to go do some work later. *groans*

anyway, i'm feeling really very guilty now :(
i really din hit the books at all today. except for like 1 physics question from the tys. i'm feeling really really horrible now k. yesterday's kite-flying(it was like so darn fun!!!!!!!!!!!!!) drained out all the energy i had inside me and even after a 8-hour sleep...my eyes were still dry, hot and tired. u know that feeling? so after my lunch, i went back to sleep again....for about 3 hours...woke up at 6 and survived till now. now i'm feeling all tired again :( so i guess i can forget about studying at all today. arghhhhhhhhh. summer scent later somemore!

well, i watched channelnewsasia...it's one of my favourite channels..heh heh. laugh and giggle all u want lah! i've no embarrassment to hide in declaring that i like watching channelnewsasia I DO! in fact i love it. i wanna be newscaster next time wan u know. (GRINS)

i love GET REA! !, i love the Prime Time Morning(but nowadays really cannot wake up in time to watch) and i like the documentaries(sort of lah) they show. not bad lor! i just watched the Pearl Harbour one today :) :)

dun pray pray k. it's been rated the most preferred channel of top executives. so of course, you must acquire certain standards to enjoy watching this channel. i don't think i can fully credit myself for that but in any case, i HATED CNA last time and ever wondered why there was such a channel lor. haha! see. i've grown up. :)

realised the whole idea of career is resurfacing every now and then already. my dear booboo, xiaoxin, is actually intending to go US to study personal relations... then i realised i really wanna study a lot of things :(

i wanna be newscaster! that's mass comm in NTU.
i wanna work for United Nations! that would mean studying International Relations abroad then going U-MEl for a further degree. you have no idea how much i wanna work for United Nations :)
if i do, i mean WHEN i do, i'll go apply for a job in the education sector. because i believe that noone should be denied of the chance to education, which is one of the best solutions to the problems in the world today. we MUST introduce education to the third-world countries for the betterment of the country itself.

it's analagous to the adage that goes... "Feed a man with a fish and he comes back for more; Teach him how to fish and he lives on his own for life."

and you have no idea how much i rever Kofi Annan! :) :) :) :). i'm not saying he's perfect, cos i remember reading TIME and he gave a hesitant answer regarding war in Iraq. but again, if you were him, what would you do? i'd like to think that his response was an attempt of sensitivity. he's my role model :)

I read a few GP articles criticising the functions of United Nations...and i kinda felt so unjustified. I just don't understand why the members like USA, can just expect so much of United Nations and not contributing a proportional effort to it. i feel like alot of countries are taking the United Nations for granted. If in the first place, no one really respects its decisions, then whyfore have it? it will definitely not solve any political problems that arise that includes wars and what not, and at its best, be only a deterioration factor to it. shall comment more when i know more. only speaking based on the little facts i know. beg your pardon.

then i thought about if i were in Bush's shoes...
i just took up my position in the White House and soon after, my Twin Towers, a sign of affluence and power, kana attack by terrorists..wat would i do? i might just do the same, go try to hunt down Osama and Saddam. I mean, they ARE threats to world stability. it's really very easy for us to sit back on our couch, read TIME/Newsweek/watch the news and condemn Bush for all his plans to go to war with IRAQ. because on our individual level, we have NO whole idea how large the margin of uncertainty can be as the world's beset with more terrorist problems..why? simply because the whole idea is so abstract...hAi. that's quite sad huh.

of course i'm not saying i'm pro-war. cos i'm not. i 'm not i'm not i'm not. and i don't think i'll ever be. the pain of losing a loved one is unbearable really.
but if we were to compare the long term threats versus the short term problems...it could well be that George Bush made his decisions based on a long term basis. i don't know but let's put it this way, i think no matter how bad his decisions have been, he's pretty much heavily taxed since day 1 he served his term in the White House. and to be nominated to run for presidency, this man must have been of certain calibre. the same goes for other candidates. =)

30 more minutes to Summer Scent haha.
i'm tired.

caught Jane Xie> day-dreaming at 10/16/2004 09:11:00 PM

life's a dream with its sunrises and sunsets

it's time i walk away from your lives.
i wasn't needed
won't be asked about
uncared for;
will be forgotten
because my life,
my character was an assumption.
no big difference shall this absence make.
but given my optimism
and words of wisdom i've shared with the class
i won't be one who'll wallow in self-pity.
i'm not someone who gives time allowance in that.
because i'm strong.
i see a bigger world picture ahead for me
it's not a time to care about the small details in my life
since they didn't seem to give a heck about me
any way.
i'll be strong enough to tide over these 5 days.
don't have to feel sorry for me
don't have to feel guilty for not doing anything
because it's not going to matter.
not anymore.
:)
remember? i'm strong
and shall live by the assumptions people have made of me.
anyone; everyone here's one lesson i've learnt:

assumptions can cause you a friend, a lover, a kin.

that's why they said love's supposed to be unassuming.

shall take my leave now.
goodbye.

caught Jane Xie> day-dreaming at 10/10/2004 08:15:00 PM

life's a dream with its sunrises and sunsets

EFFECTIVELY......

there is only 7, seven contenders for Singapore Idol.
unless you regard an animal(mouse) to be qualified as a participant.
but i'm quite surprised and perhaps glad to an extent
that this mouse is special.
he it can "sing" apart from its daily squeaks with its fellow mice over cheesecake.
AH!
what's even MORE alarming is that,
this mouse is at least above the mark to audition for some disney synching job.
u know. those kind of Disney movies,
such as Finding Nemo...Mickey Mouse...
where the Disney characters actually sing...that job fits himit best.
and be glad that i actually think he it fits that job in the first place.
oh no. but i forgot the fact that Disney producers or any beings part of the production
should very least be a beholder of charisma and looks.
Does a mouse have that?
aiyo.

but in any case. like the topic says
Singapore Idol is only left with 7 humans who can sing.
sigh. it's quite amazing the power a mouse has,
to edge out some really good singers.
you know, those kind who really deserves and are capable to take the centrestage.

no wonder they always say elephants are afraid of mice.

how apt. that's a newly-grasp concept. thanks to SI.
:)

but i've come up with a few possible reasons why Singapore voted the way she did,
for a consecutive two weeks.

1) Globalisation
Globalisation--> Americanisation--> Disneyfication-->Cartoons--> ugly mouse.
(ps: even Beauty and the Beast's Beast was a hit, let alone some filthy mouse.)

2) Those who voted for the non-human were probably singing to themselves
You thought what you heard from yourself was what came from the teevee-->thought it was nice--> voted for the mouse. Moral: YEAH! even YOU can sing better than him

3) Trying to convert the Singapore Idol into a free cartoon show on Channel 5 with your voting power.
you're the consumer-->Consumer Rights-->Consumer's Power-->Ability to make a change to please yourself-->Mass thinking--> Mouse gets through. So i guess a cartoon show at primetime 8pm suits the majority population! Channel 5!!!! Start investing on something more worthy of an intellectual group of audience, than trying to search in vain for a up-to-standard Singapore Idol! You're not going to get it!

4) i know lah. You all are waiting for Florence Lian to bet again right..................
she bets. and the stakes were her hair, her job. just awaiting the day she puts her life at stake to pawn mousey away? heh heh................evil leh u all!

5) For the guys...you all wanna start jio-ing Jessea rite...
No votes-->ousted out-->more time for suitors
elaboration is redundant.

6) For the girls...you all wanna be lawyer's wife right...tsk tsk!!!! good choice cuz lawyers earn big lui $
i know what u all tinking lah!

7) For one thing..there's a strange group of people who loves investing money and votes on a mouse.
so that it will end up in your hands as an experiment????
BIG question mark.
ps: not seeking for answers. cos this strange group of voters aren't on my level of communication and understanding.

8) Nights in Singapore are so peaceful people wanna hear the difference in tone between a location in Jurong and the rest of the island.
admit it lah. i think most of the people would have moaned and groaned when the results were out. the only place on the island that would have burst into joy and elation would be where mice alike live.

ladidummmmm.
i'm thinking if chrissypoo edged out david yeo, both whom i like but i have to admit that chris' performance were really..substandard, by a vote of two, that was my vote haha.
i last minute call! i so scared cannot see cute cute poo.
bias bias bias.
yes!!!! i'm one of those senseless girls who are calling for chris
but there's a difference
and that lies..in that chrissypooo is not as ugly as a mouse!!!!
so there IS an infallible reason why he should be kept as eye therapy
ugly mouse has no potential at all! maybe he was kept to be experimented to be cooked into a delicacy to fill the stomachs of the remaining 7 Singapore Idol contenders.

OH NO.....taufik, maia, syl, chris, leandra, daphne and olinda...
Don't eat it, lest you turn into an ugly mouse too...
you never know what's the poisson he carried................
to have so many hypnotized............................
.................................................................................................................

goodnite! :)

caught Jane Xie> day-dreaming at 10/08/2004 11:31:00 PM

life's a dream with its sunrises and sunsets

insomnia.

and i'm only 18. :(

nahs. just being paranoid here. :p
gonna meet lian to have a chat later :)
she's got the calming effect and an optimist adviser.
i'm also one. but i'm just unkind to myself heh heh.

i'm just wondering...

they always say friendships are unassuming
but our lives are filled with assumptions rite.
even for the happiest people around
feelings do accumulate too
just that they've learnt throw them aside
after awhile. :)

really, u just need an event to start the numbing effect
in the long run, it'll be good
in the middle run, it's just,
detrimental.

but somehow,
it results in a repelling effect in friendships
u'll try to protect yourself from the hurt
at least it's so for me
i never liked to be too close to anyone
some will just be my hibye friends
some will be my rubbish bin/toilet bowl where i talk all the shit to them
some, just in the middle.

shan't think too much about it anyway :) :)
'cuz things will have a better turn.
no cause for me to worry anyway.
bet there are people who'd felt the same way as me
oh wells.

so i suppose feeling unappreciated/transparent
is a phase in friendship to be overcome right :)

"the more deadly bombs are those which are created silently and undiscovered until it's stealthily detonated."

i think i'm a suicide bomber.

but difference is,
the split second before the bomb explodes
i'll do a disappearing act!
=p

great day to all!

caught Jane Xie> day-dreaming at 10/08/2004 06:16:00 AM

life's a dream with its sunrises and sunsets

after lil excitement comes dreadful wear.

*YAWNS*. come. let's do it together.
*YAWN*. maybe i should try being an Ying-ge-lish teacher(as invented by toro.)
:)

started the day off by swimming
+45
-3
-6
+3
+7
-10
+13
-14
+1
-18
+12
=30 (heh heh heh. oops. sorry for tiring u out.) laps.
felt darn energetic after that.
but now, i'm feeling the daziness. lol.
i think i traumatised this little boy. :(
but i must commend him for his splendid butterfly stroke.
despite the fact that he's only p5,
he's acquired the style of a national swimmer- the seh.
he is ZAI .
i haven't seen anyone (save the Olympians and expert swimmers) who can execute the tedious butterfly stroke with such seeming ease and i must say,
he's got a flair in it.

in any case, he's a shy boy... cute. :)

after which mich and iiiii(oh no. egoistic.) went to school and collected our chem papers. i FINALLY passed my chem. impressed with our class.

i'm feeling so tired now. :(

btw.

To: Advocators of True Talent and Personality

Message: We shall keep our votes wise and specific to ONLY people who can sing, and is worthy to become the pioneer Singapore Idol. Advocators of True Talent and Personality WILL NOT, MUST NOT tolerate display of weak renditions on our national tee-vee. If ever, weak controversies like *Ahem* JERRY kingkONG gets in yet AGAIN, that is when the prominence of an idiotic nation(except for a minority who still can differentiate talents from TEAR-lents) is genuinely felt AND regretted. let's sigh.

HAI!!!!!!!

vote wisely. dick, florence, douglas, ken:
AGREE BO!?

-off to my peaceful zZz-
nites.
love, jarnei.

caught Jane Xie> day-dreaming at 10/05/2004 04:32:00 PM

life's a dream with its sunrises and sunsets

i knew i was right.

you should have known,
i should have known(i did suspect),
everybody should have expected that

JERRY THAT "SINGER" WHO CAN'T SING IS FROM CITY HARVEST.

get the implication?
he gets the votes even though he has NO talent AT ALL.

and btw, what do you think he looks like?
he looks like some bloody timid mouse who hadn't crawled out of that hole for a zillion years.
that ah toot face.
only BLIND, USELESS, STUPID, DUMB airheads will vote for him
while truly INTELLIGENTLY CRITICAL professors like me,
will second the petition to bring Jeassea,
who looks MUCH better, sings WAY better than that shithead back to the show.

and that explains WHY that bitchy-witchy-looking
sun ho yao san (i don't give a DAMN if i've spelt that right or not)
tops the RIAS charts year after year.

that beats me-
why do people still get conned to join the city harvest church?
i'm gonna admit it.
i DO have something against church-goers from there.
i'm NOT going to sound nice AT ALL.
they cheat, they hypnotize
they make you think that going to THEIR "church" means BUYING sun ho's album
and now, voting for that pigass, jerry ong.

i'm NOT going to insult Christianity.
let's just put it this way
City Harvest is just a shame.

A church is simply, a place for genuine worship of God
and not some fun-place to know the hottest chicks and hunks.
SHAME ON YOU if you actually go to church for that reason
and call yourself a Christian.
SHAME ON YOU if you actually condone such behavious.

get my point?
A church which, even if it's dilapidated, has its churchgoers to pray sincerely to The Almighty
is so much more of a place of worship
than an affluently opulent extravaganza of lavishly-decorated building with a USELESS fountain to enhance its "beauty" (to me, it's shit), where its churchgoers go there to make new friends so that they can ultimately end up as friends in bed.

there's a studio built for the church people, (Sun Ho).
if city harvest uses that to like, say, record some gospel songs that i don't mind
NOT if it's built to invest on that bitchwitch.
i know i'm sounding mean.
but i finally understand WHY sun ho miscarriaged so many times.
let's PRAY that she'll keep this one SAFE.
maybe City Harvest people should pray more for that than waste money on calling for some idiot-who-can't-sing.
pardon me if i'm illogical,
BUT, if jerry ong goes through round by round, with his
obvious lack of talent and plethora of flaws
City Harvest will make no headway anywhere else but only to be misunderstood
by the sound minds in the society.

GET IT?

anyone who votes for Jerry ONG the second time is just plain

DUMB

oh. that reminds me.
last year's NKF show or issit this year's?
we saw how SUN HO that witch,
endure the pains of the darts that poked right into her skin
please lor. frankly,
ask me go do i also dun mind. i won't even cry out of pain.
i can bet with you on that.
so i'm wondering, WHY did that witch shed such ugly tears.
(ps: ugly people shed ugly tears)
anyway, that's not the mainpoint. sorry for meandering.

ah yes.
then there was this lot of SUN HO supporters,
holding up those electric support-boards that spelt that witch's name
(poor, misled souls. haven't they realised that the money they've poured in have been wasted on such dumb stuff, which can be more creatively created with markers and ordinary boards that cost no more than $5? to add on to that, i think g.x.y.z boards are so much nicer! n cheaper too!)

continued:

afraid that their voices would not be piercing enough to make an impact
to show that sun ho, that witch (eh. it comes naturally as a phrase now haha!) indeed has alot of supporters.
they came to us, the Energy fans and asked begged us to scream

HE YAO SHAN! WO MEN YONG YUAN ZHI CHI NI!

that means, "WITCH, we will always support you!"

and guess what was our unanimous, "bu yue er tong" reaction?
HAHA!
we ignored him!!!! i'm SO glad i did.
if not i'd have died with a HUGE regret in my heart.
why should i support a bitchwitch!
-sniggers-
then he tried SO hard. no, TOO hard to get us to scream.
aiya, too bad. we just wanted to conserve our ENERGY for ENERGY.

nah. beneath that superficial reason is because
we just CAN'T BE BOTHERED with that witch
even if she gets an infection, that's not my problem really.
furthermore, she's got SO MANY city harvest people who would shower her LOVE and CONCERN
so?
dun need to care one lah!

talk about the way she sings
she sounds like she's got block nose EVERYTIME she steps into the studio lor.
c'mon, even I, WO, ME, can sing better than her haha!
personal opinion lah!

sometimes i feel quite sad for energy
somehow i think they've been taken in by her.
if they are,
they are just dumb lah.

caught Jane Xie> day-dreaming at 10/03/2004 10:33:00 PM

life's a dream with its sunrises and sunsets

Justice to Jeassea.

whatever i typed was erased. gdi.
anyways, in short.

no matter how you feel about tonight's results
i don't care.
here's mine:

jeassea's the star. she's got the looks, the talents, the voice, the x-factor, the star quality.

and jerry?
a cute cat at best.

kick my ass for tonite's results.
it's only the first week AND we witness the departure of a star.
it's only the first week BUT i still have to tolerate the second week with jerry's

weak voice
weak talents
weak looks (i'd rather smash an egg at my tv screen than to bear with his sheepish looks.)

forget it. i'm just gonna cross my fingers,
pray hard that jerry is NOT and NEVER going to stay for the third week.
he's got the luck that SUN HE YAO SHAN has man.

something like this:
you open the nut,
you get no nut.
but you still try to open the other nuts.

my conclusion:
people who try to open such empty nuts are just
DUMB
STUPID
USELESS
____________________________________________________________________________________

my diet plan fails each day i try to start it haha.
it always begins in the morning
"ok. today's the start of my diet"
but always ends at the most sinful time of the day,
night-time,
"oh no. i just ruined my diet plan. WHY DID I STUFF MYSELF WITH THE CHIPS AND CHOCS."

ARGH.

humans just don't have the "thing" to resist temptations.

caught Jane Xie> day-dreaming at 10/01/2004 10:55:00 PM

life's a dream with its sunrises and sunsets