One day, I woke early in the morning to watch the sunrise. Ah, the beauty of God's creation is beyond description. As I watched, I praised God for His beautiful work. As I sat there, I felt the Lord's presence with me.

He asked me, "Do you love me?" I answered, "Of course, God! You are my Lord and Saviour!"

Then He asked, "If you were physically handicapped, would you still love me?" I was perplexed. I looked down upon my arms, legs and the rest of my body and wondered how many things I wouldn't; be able to do, the things that I took for granted.And I answered, "It would be tough Lord, but I would still love You."

Then the Lord said, "If you were blind, would you still love my creation?" How could I love something without being able to see it? Then I thought of all the blind people in the world and how many of them still loved God and His creation.So I answered, "Its hard to think of it, but I would still love you."

The Lord then asked me, "If you were deaf, would you still listen to my word?" How could I listen to anything being deaf? Then I understood. Listening to God's Word is not merely using our ears, but our hearts. I answered, "It would be tough, but I would still listen to Your word."

The Lord then asked, "If you were mute, would you still praise My Name?" How could I praise without a voice? Then it occurred to me: God wants us to sing from our very heart and soul. It never matters what we sound like. And praising God is not always with a song, but when we are persecuted, we give God praise with our words of thanks.So I answered, "Though I could not physically sing, I would still praise Your Name."

And the Lord asked, "Do you really love Me?" With courage and a strong conviction, I answered boldly, "Yes Lord! I love You because You are the one and true God!" I thought I had answered well, but...

God asked, "THEN WHY DO YOU SIN?"I answered, "Because I am only human. I am not perfect."

"THEN WHY IN TIMES OF PEACE DO YOU STRAY THE FURTHEST? WHY ONLY IN TIMES OF TROUBLE DO YOU PRAY THE EARNEST?"

No answers. Only tears.The Lord continued:

"Why only sing at fellowships and retreats? Why seek Me only in times of worship? Why ask things so selfishly? Why ask things so unfaithfully?"The tears continued to roll down my cheeks.

"Why are you ashamed of Me? Why are you not spreading the good news? Why in times of persecution, you cry to others when I offer My shoulder to cry on? Why make excuses when I give you opportunities to serve in My Name?" I tried to answer, but there was no answer to give.

"You are blessed with life. I made you not to throw this gift away. I have blessed you with talents to serve Me, but you continue to turn away. I have revealed My Word to you, but you do not gain in knowledge. I have spoken to you but your ears were closed. I have shown My blessings to you, but your eyes were turned away. I have sent you servants, but you sat idly by as they were pushed away. I have heard your prayers and I have answered them all."

Do you truly love me?I could not answer. How could I? I was embarrassed beyond belief. I had no excuse. What could I say to this? When I my heart had cried out and the tears had flowed, I said, "Please forgive me Lord. I am unworthy to be Your child."The Lord answered, "That is My Grace, My child."

I asked, "Then why do you continue to forgive me? Why do You love me so?"The Lord answered, "Because you are My creation. You are my child. I will never abandon you. When you cry, I will have compassion and cry with you. When you shout with joy, I will laugh with you. When you are down, I will encourage you. When you fall, I will raise you up. When you are tired, I will carry you. I will be with you till the end of days, and I will love you forever."

Never had I cried so hard before. How could I have been so cold? How could I have hurt God as I had done? I asked God, "How much do You love me?" The Lord stretched out His arms, and I saw His nail-pierced hands. I bowed down at the feet of Christ, my Saviour. And for the first time, I truly prayed.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

for the very first time i had to seriously ponder upon this qn :

"if one day u were forced at gunpoint to renounce your faith, will u?" by faith, i'd say no. i think the question is, what if that really happens? this was the qn mich and i thought abt after youth and im very sure many others started to think abt that too. i started to think about how He did, even though we're undeserving, carry up that cross for us. the pain He suffered not only on the cross, but also the humiliation that was spitted right at His face.

i think the extremely heartwrenching fact is that He loves us that much that He could unashamedly die for us even before we're born and yet, some of us ignore this love He's showered and poured upon us. my friends, instead of dwelling on the thought about what have you not, why not just thank Him for all that He has given...

im really looking forward to the day my unbeliever friends can go to church, really. (: it's a little wish of mine, a wish i earnestly and faithfully pray for. and taking it by faith in His promise, i believe it'll come true, wont it :)

God is good. He really is. there're so many testimonies to share. through youth, i learnt frm the rest that even the most trivial things (to us apparently) is actually a great work of God's. =)

Thank you for reading this entry. ilu (:

life's a dream with its sunrises and sunsets

sad!

vonzell's out. i kinda like her. or rather,
i have grown to appreciate her, really.
really hate to see fab singers go like tt. reminds me of latoya :(

thinkin abt which song to sing for class next week.
am considering my happy ending by avril hees!!

allrites. gotta check out the rates for braces.
man!

caught Jane Xie> day-dreaming at 5/19/2005 11:13:00 PM

life's a dream with its sunrises and sunsets

hmmm

it seems like every step u take
people kinda expect it to be perfect
any step out of flawlessness
u feel u're letting Him down

i'm sorry

there's just some part of me that's so imperfect.
make it many parts.
im judgemental
im mean
im impatient
im sarcastic
im.....

just so imperfect..

i just hope You'll and you'll that be gracious with me
and understand that i need time

i cant be perfect overnite
and when im just that irritatingly imperfect, im sorry.
and pls dun think that im not convinced by Christ.
or He's not real.

im trying. (:
the fault lies with me,
not Him.

caught Jane Xie> day-dreaming at 5/17/2005 11:01:00 PM

life's a dream with its sunrises and sunsets

unfunny...

read this from christiananswers.net:

What did the Lord say to him? "Son, remember that thou in thy lifetime had thy good things."
I don't really think we need to talk about fire. I think one of the most horrible, terrible features of eternity without Christ would be to have your faculty of memory--to remember the gospel services you sat through and kept saying "no" to Christ--to remember your hardness and coldness of heart to somebody that was a testimony--to remember your indifference--to remember programs and meetings in which you emotionally were stirred and maybe tears came to your eyes and a lump to your throat, and you said "No!" to Christ. I can't think of anything that would be more horrible than that. "Son, remember."

You don't need fire to be in pain. You don't need physical suffering. Just to be God-forsaken--separated from God and all that is good and holy and to have your memories along with it. To remember a mother and dad who prayed for you, who tried to lead you right. You took the bit in your mouth and decided to go your own way. You wouldn't listen. A horrible thing memory can be if we're outside of Christ. "Son, remember." And evidently, man in eternity could see, he could remember. He didn't need to have fire to make him uncomfortable. There were plenty of other factors to make Hades and Hell very unfunny. To be out in eternity without Christ is very unfunny.

not out to scare. but sigh.

caught Jane Xie> day-dreaming at 5/16/2005 08:52:00 PM

life's a dream with its sunrises and sunsets

whitney whitney~!!!! (:

pls listen to one moment in time! (:
real cool i love the lyrics! inspiring!

one moment in time
each day i live
i want to be a day to give the best of me
i'm only one,but not alone
my finest day is yet unknown
i broke my heart for every gain to taste the sweet
i faced the pain i rist and fall,
yet through it all this much remains

i was one moment in time
when i'm more than i thought i could be
when all of my dreams are a heartbeat away
and the answers are all up to me
give me one moment in time
when i'm racing with destiny
then in that one moment of time
i will feel, i will feel eternity

i will live to be the very best i want it all,
no time for less i've laid the plans now
lay the chance here in my hands
give me one moment in time
when i'm more than i thought i could be
when all of my dreams are a heartbeat away
and the answers are all up to me

give me one moment in time
when i'm racing with destiny
then in that one moment of time
i will feel, i will feel eternity

you're a winner for a lifetime
if you seize that one moment in time
make it shine
give me one moment in time
when i'm more than i thought i could be
when all of my dreams are a heartbeat away
and the answers are all up to me
give me one moment in time
when i'm racing with destiny
then in that one moment of time
i will be, i will be, i will be free

caught Jane Xie> day-dreaming at 5/13/2005 08:51:00 AM

life's a dream with its sunrises and sunsets

kingdom of heaven! (:

like FINALLY i watched it. (: but before that i went back to ny to visit my beloved teachers!!!! (: oh yeay :)

i kinda slept during the show. and i thought it's like, either it's boring or just-not-interesting...UNTIL Balian said to the queen "your brother's kingdom was here(pointing to head) and here(pointing to heart.)". i just had this thought... dividers in the faith of God can fight over this piece of Holy Land for their own glory like how the king after Tiberius did and legitimate it in the Lord's name, but ultimately, they have lost the kingdom because they arent really doing it for God's glory isnt it. they've lost their mind and heart to do it.

we think about violence and thinking that a victory over our enemies will prove our side true. but i think they have forgotten that if we were to define God, it would be "God is love".

how ironic can it be?
man can think that they are fighting for their faith. but in actual fact, they're probably losing it. they've thwarted what God has created us to be... i dont think He wants us to fight lah :) dont do anything wrong and discard it to His name.

dont mean to sound radical, but it's pretty much of a blasphemy aint it?

realised this is an anti-christian film. then again, i dont think i'll not watch it because it's antichristian. kinda had doubts in my heart but for me, i think doubts strengthen my belief! (:

caught Jane Xie> day-dreaming at 5/12/2005 06:24:00 PM

life's a dream with its sunrises and sunsets

singing lesson!

so malu today! (: but i guess we're all learning so it all makes things easier :)
im having a really hard time tryin 2 keep my soft palate up haha (:
Lord help me! :p

feel like buying many many CDs now.
but hey, nonononono.
gotta curb this spend-spend attitude.
it's earning me nth but a declaration of a bankrupt.

caught Jane Xie> day-dreaming at 5/12/2005 12:22:00 AM

life's a dream with its sunrises and sunsets

(:

i had a really great conversation with mich via msn.
and HEY thanks for all the reminders!!!!
halfway through i just had this thought
'my child, why are you not letting Me take care of your troubles..."
and i was like with mich's reminder...
let's not keep our eyes, mind, soul off-focus.
whatever needs to be tuned right will be by His might and strength :)
feeling much much MUCH MUCH better :)
thank God.

if anyone is interested...haha.
an interview with God

caught Jane Xie> day-dreaming at 5/10/2005 11:29:00 AM

life's a dream with its sunrises and sunsets

i wonder...

which is the real me?
the lonely soul at home who has noone to turn to except Him
or the excitingly in joy girl who enjoys the company of friends...
have u ever had that thought before?

i dont think i really like my family
i wanna escape.

i wish i could breakaway.

caught Jane Xie> day-dreaming at 5/10/2005 09:49:00 AM

life's a dream with its sunrises and sunsets

freedom...

had a jog this morning and thought about things...
its ironic how a few days ago i wanted to sink into the complexities of the mind
and now that i really am, i feel that some joy's been exchanged for some serious thoughts.
i recall what ben told me, that somehow, when we start to think about things, it's usually when we're kinda down.
walked around, and thought about freedom.
thought about how vital and pivotal is one's upbringing.
i grew up kissing freedom, choosing my schools, leading my own life, having my opinions...
sometimes, i felt as if noone really cared, that im just another lonely soul wandering in life, and wondering about life.
now that my aunt tries to grip hold of me, i feel like im suffocating...

i thought about how life would be if i had the extreme opposite type of upbringing.
everything tight, and controlled totally by my family.
no this, no that.
and at some point of my life, i have the chance to taste the fruit of freedom.
would i?

or would i be afraid?

i recall an exchange of thoughts with my aunt:
"hey why dont we just try to catch a bird and keep it as our pet? good mah, no need buy..."

she replied, "do you know that if you cage birds like the sparrows...they wont even eat whatever u give them. they'd rather starve to death than lose their freedom."

and that's probably how helpless i feel.

but somehow, life's not like that anymore..
it does have its ups and downs and im in my down period and because of my pride, i hate to admit it sometimes. i wanna just be happy and stay in the CHIONG AH mood..but i remember, God nv promised us a good life after we accept Christ... qian and mich, let's stay strong together.. :)

some time not long ago, i experienced a new kind of freedom...
it's no longer the... "oh yay i can do this, i can do that" but i felt it's really the lease of new life..
and it's something im really afraid to lose.
so afraid that it drives me to tears sometimes. because it din come easy.
because it came free, didnt mean it came cheap.

im starting to taste the beauty of choices.
and it makes me even stronger in believing that anything done out of will isnt going to reach a desirable end.
thought abt this...if one day my boyfriend, that's if i ever get one, decides to leave me for another girl or something else, i dont think i'll wanna fight back for it...

because it's just so pointless. his heart probably just isnt there anymore...
and im not fighting for it, not because i dont care,
but because to go on would probably mean more hurt.

and im scared of being hurt.

caught Jane Xie> day-dreaming at 5/10/2005 08:46:00 AM

life's a dream with its sunrises and sunsets

today...hmm..

quite a sad day to start with i would say. not really sad, just......troubling.
but nvm. ended the day with esther, shui and yang =) real happpy. or rather it perked me up again to see them! (: wanted to watch kingdom of heaven together but realised the 9pm slot was too too late and the rest actually has to work tmr. so yes anyone wants to watch pls call me out to watch hor =)
so pretty glad cus all of us have gotten the course we wanted..like yang-accountancy, me and shui-comm.studies, and esther- out future doctor=)) that was smth me and yang could only wish and dream for. =p


thats me, doctor tan, accountant yang, and superstar shui =p

had a really rough afternoon, nv really cried that hard before. or rather, for a long long time. think the last time i cried like that was also cos of a quarrel with my aunt. i think i seriously have a problem with her...she could actually say that im a lan4 cao3, someone who has no correct moral upbringing, someone who has NO wisdom AT ALL, so much that i NEARLY felt worthless. surprisingly, i din feel hurt..not really. i cried cos i was so frustrated how could she see things only in her opinion. how she can actually accuse us of looking down on her when as a matter of fact, that thought really NEVER and i mean seriously, NEVER crossed my mind. i was like, that's freaking absurd how she could have ever sowed that thought. it gets really sick when she takes our action out of context and sees it in her way when we really DONT mean it that way. so i was super frustrated and just said "i think it's your menopause. ah i know every woman is like tt. im like that oso lah. up down up down one...menopause menopause." now that i typed it out it sounds funny but i really was at my top. for that moment when i really felt forced to believe in her 'dao', i felt like i was going mad. and she went like "go lah go lah go and be crazy like your mum". and i just thought, i never really liked or enjoyed going fo tang, we(me and my couz) never did. why force us? u know, anything that's not done out of will never comes to a good end. i mean why cant she see it that, since im happy going to church and growing well in the Lord, let me be. rather than trying to stifle me her way and making me stagnant in my character building.

quite surprised. i was talking to shui todayy. and she also agreed that despite the fact that my aunt is fundamentally a kind soul, the very huge problem and major flaw about her is that she likes to see things go her way. i mean, all right, who doesnt? we all want things to go OUR way but u know not all things do. she gets very upset when we dont go her way and i guess that's the problem with parents. i dont deny that- i could have this problem too. i mean i can understand why my aunt feels that way. in the future when i become a mother, and if my child doesnt believe in Christ, whom i have faith in, im gonna feel as devastated as my aunt. the thing is, she needs to get over this and realise that it all is a very personal choice. my relationship with her sees more than just faith. and i seriously dont understand why the moment we touch on this topic we have to quarrel and it almost always end up in tears. for me that is. then came to this point when me and shui felt that, u know, anything that's not in my aunt's dictionary, is almost labelled WRONG. like when my aunt msged me in chinese "the 6 of u(me n my couz) are gifts from heaven, i dont want any of u to go the wrong way." it's every mother's instinct to be protective but i got really sensitive with the word "wrong". like u know, i think she's to understand that ultimately, it's not up to man to decide what's right, what's wrong. we all have our different ways of seeking God... man falters, we really do so we cant judge. at the end of the day, it's not up to us to judge and decide, but only God has that power and right. and i kinda told her that..."let's not make things difficult for each other. it's really not up to man to decide what's right, what's wrong. let's let God be our judge. we're all different, and we're probably gonna have different paths in life..."

right now, i only have one thing i really hope my aunt understands. not going her fo tang doesnt mean i deny. i respect, but i dont accept. i've accepted that Jesus is my shepherd and i dont intend to turn back. at least for now, im not really certain if He'll be pleased if i go fo tang. until i get my answer, i hope my aunt understands that im not going. JEsus is a good shepherd and yep, He's all i really need...
also hoping that she can see the light that not everything has to be according to her belief system. things were so bad, i felt so caged up in this quite traditional family of mine that i really wanted to escape. i wish i could just leave singapore and i even prayed that He could just take me away. but that's not going to happen. this IS a test for me and i know for sure, He's with me and will be with me right till the very end as He's promised in the bible.. =)
"Even to your old age and gray hairs I am He, I am He who will sustain you. I have made you and will carry you; I will sustain you and I will rescue you." -Isaiah 46:4. =)
at the end of this all, being a good shepherd as He is, He'll lead me to become a stronger believer and a great solution to everything... =)

to all my friends and family and to whoever who read this...
be patient with me...cos i do have a struggle that i think im really a lousy embassador for Christ..like im not a good living testimony...i seek your forgiveness if i havent been just to u or if i've been unfair to u in anyway, or i've sinned against u. i apologise and yep i really mean it =). im really trying my best to change with His help...and change is not something u'll see overnite...like learning to love is one of my strongest weakness and i believe it's going to take me a lifetime long to learn it but im willing to tryy. =) if i've been mean or bad, please dont think that it's Christ who's bad because it's not...it's me who has faltered. forgive me, please =). and be patient with me because i really hope that i can share His love with all of u =). and to people whom ive invited to church...please dont feel obliged to come or anything cus i really dont believe in doing anything out of will...i'd be fine when u say no and it's not a problem at all...but i wont give up..i'll keep praying until something happens!! (:

a big hug to all of uu.... (:

caught Jane Xie> day-dreaming at 5/09/2005 10:40:00 PM

life's a dream with its sunrises and sunsets

im hungry ...

but i cant, for that matter, because im hungry, overlook the fact that i have this will to blog about sunday.
my favourite day of the week =).
man, now that i wanna blog about it my mind's BLANK.
in any case, as a fore-word, this is not a blog that is MEANT to preach. i just felt like i wanna blog so that i wont forget this day cos i learnt so much just from today alone.
and i believe God wanted to speak to me through the pastors with regards to a couple of issues.
(: God is GOOD , the way He is LOVE.

during the sharing, the lady from trinity college was saying something like,
"sometimes we just wanna flip through the bible and read through it, without really understanding the depth of it all."
and pang! i was like hey im guilty of that. and im pretty sure alot of us are.
i mean, we ARE impatient beings to some extent. and that was a reminder line that i really really needed.
just on friday nite i was so tired from the dinner that i slept while reading His word! and i wonder how i really do wonder how, i just, i think i think, sleptwalk (or issit sleepwalked? ah whatever.) back to my bed. and i dont know how, i really dont know how, i just suddenly woke up at 2+ and realised "oh my! i havent finished my QT!" so being the impatient me, i rushed through my bible and prayed. somehow, it seemed like a routine. a routine i'd feel bad if i dont fulfill. on hindsight, i think about it, it's a really bad attitude isnt it? my heart wasnt there with Him for the past few nights or even weeks!!

then came the unequally yoked issue. it surfaced during service and during foundation class today! (: haha. thanks to abby and her bdae present for me =). u know. it's like everything starts to become crystal clear to you. perhaps, i had an inkling about how things should be but u know everything just came to light- the light of confirmation that HEY YEAH! that's the way it has to be! i dont think i can settle for anyone who doesnt acknowledge and love Him more than i do. and i actually said that at the family dinner on friday "i cant accept any non-Christians." and now i think back, HOW DID THAT EVER SPURT OUT OF MY MOUTH! (: well, it just did. i guess at that time, my aunt was really disappointed with me cos with that line, i killed her hope of me doing her fo tang thing together w her. she was like lamenting about it on the car on our way back. 3 times she grumbled. i mean, that's a really strong line about e issue and i dont intend to turn back on that. i need someone to share my faith and love in Him =)
and during foundation class, Pastor Maureen actually backed that up with a very firm verse from the bible,
"Do not be yoked together with unbelievers." - 2 Corinthians 6:14
somehow, this topic was like surfaced like a HOT HOT HOT! (SIO AH!) topic in service today... :)

i had my struggles abt some 'chosen people' thing and thank God, He is never short of guidance for me to discover more and clear my doubt. i mean i spoke to a number of people about this and wow, slowly i start to see the light though not totally yet. i still need that one pointer that would really spark that glow of enlightenment in me. i think that is a really tough part to comprehend =) and PRaise e Lord ah, He guided me to a verse from the book "50 Days to Pentecost" that was something about how He taught the early Jewish Christians how wrong it was of them to think that they were more deserving to be Christians than others. We are all equal before God.. =) essentially, all we need to do is to love one another! simple as it sounds, it's not. reminded me of my driving instructor. really tried to accept him the way he is but still, i failed but nvm! i have been forgiven for that so no point dwelling on that issue =).

and during altarcall today i just thought about how i should phrase sarahjane and xie zhen. and this thought just flashed past..sarah jane, xie zhen. (:. so i wrote the note to pastor seaward.. (: who is sooooooooooooo fatherly or rather, grandfatherly for that matter!!!! when he saw mich and i, he was like.. hugging us! and said something like he dint see us on friday for youth and missed us...and u get that feeling that he doesnt say that because he's a pastor and that is merely fulfilling his duties. u feel that he said that because it came from his heart really =) ah =) and i have a chance to serve e church!! (: cus i think there's some admin stuff to do and pastor maureen was like saying she'd contact me after i told her i'd be free from now on! no work no work!! (: think ill msg her later :)

decided not to stay for evening service cos i just had this urge to come home and do my prayers..not that i cant do it in church but i just felt like coming home... =) i had a really joyful prayer time yakking away to God :p u know i confronted all the issues and processed how He's shown me the light to many things...and i really really wanna thank Him for all of that... (: life's so easy with Him!!!! (: when ure troubled, all u need to do is to turn to Him and He'll carry you through!! (: sometimes..u get that joy thats overwhelming...that all u can do is to smile smile and smile or even laugh...and u know God's laughing with u too cos that joy is from Him =) He's always more than happy to pour into us barrels and barrels of joy... =) the Lord's joy is our strengtH! (:

ultimately, God wants to recover all His lost sheep. and speaking of lost sheep, sometime during service today, i just had this picture of Jesus leading many many people surfacing in my mind. then i thought u know, we can nv have any better shepherd than Jesus Christ Himself....all we need to do is to focus on Him and obey Him...=) simple....yea but requires alot alot of discipline and trust in Him. ALOT. but whatever it is, i'll just trust HIm =) because all things work out good for those who believe in Him =))

really thank You for being generous with your answers to me... =)

caught Jane Xie> day-dreaming at 5/08/2005 10:59:00 PM

life's a dream with its sunrises and sunsets

hmmm...si xin de li you

go listen to fir's si xin de li you...
i love the emotions put across. totally.
i was almost crying when i sang this song yesterday haha (:

click here for lyrics.. (:
(pls right click and open in new window (:)

btw, this song was written for princess diana and i suspect tt it's prince charles' remarriage that inspired f.i.r to write this song..
and if u watched the dvd, faye was almost crying when she sang this song outside e palace.. =)
really really touching song
(:

caught Jane Xie> day-dreaming at 5/08/2005 08:15:00 AM

life's a dream with its sunrises and sunsets

(:

had a real hearty chat with booboo.
(:
realised...many a time,
we already know what we want.
all we need to do is to sound it out.
and convince ourselves.

caught Jane Xie> day-dreaming at 5/07/2005 11:04:00 PM

life's a dream with its sunrises and sunsets

life...is great! (;

as much as im experiencing some sort of mind revolution
i'd still think of life as wonderful (:
had a fantastic talk to mich abt God and how great He is...
was close to tears again.. n it's not tears of sorrow but tears that just flow because you know, deep inside, how blessed you are. that God is always there for u that He's always wanting and waiting to fill you up, that He's always looking at you, that He's always there for you.
just that...
it always feel good to talk about God..and im really happy (::
cus mich and i have been pretty enlightened on some stuff we used to be doubtful about..
doubt can either cloud you or allow u to take that step of faith and allow God to reveal to you, in His own time..
there's been quite a few bugging incidents lately, i cant remember what
as much as a human, im disappointed at certain things, but let's just trust that God has His timing to things
that He knows best... :)
so overjoyed that i was like hugging mich halfway thru our convo..
(:
u know, life's just that easy...i feel like ive learnt to let go quite some things..
that so many things have come to light and im really hoping that people around me can be enlightened as well..
guess we'll all keep pushing - pray until something happens (:

sometimes im worried that i'll lose this zeal and love for God when work starts to pile in
so mich, keep me there and i'll keep ya there too.
QIANFU YOU TOO!! (: u know we're always praying for you.
but seriously, dont wait till there's a crisis to believe in Him...hmm that's what i think lah.
it's easy to say how much i can commit to Him right now cos im just a bummer lazing around.
so much free time to read the bible to think about Him...ah well. (:
i suppose that's in His plans too!!!! (:

hmm..cant help but to feel that the final day is coming soon...
scary as it is...but im looking forward to reunite with Him.
then again, i remember how many of my beloved family n friends unsaved
i know that longing will diminish to worry.
but no regrets.
i just wanna do my best and i pray for His strength =)

love. (:

caught Jane Xie> day-dreaming at 5/07/2005 09:15:00 PM

life's a dream with its sunrises and sunsets

family gathering! (:

it's been a looooong time, since january that is, we sat down together for a meal (:
my granny, my aunt uncle and cousins (:
the last time was my granny's bdae!
and man. the pressurising qn abt when ill ever ever get a bf surfaces.
im pretty much at a struggle myself haha. (:
i qt enjoy the way things are. i cant imagine having another person in my heart.
and whoever i end up with, i always hope to get God's blessing to that.
(: so i suppose there's no hurry.
but it does get irritating and pressurising when there's seemingly a deadline to bring back some tomdickharry!
haha (:
but anyhows, guitar lesson tmr at church (: then korean.
saturday's tiring mAN!
and who wants to watch kingdom of heaven with meEEEEEE. (:

caught Jane Xie> day-dreaming at 5/06/2005 10:57:00 PM

life's a dream with its sunrises and sunsets

whitney houston.

woah. whitney's really a fantabulous singer mans.
listening to her greatest hits.
SHIOK.
and YES, scott's out (:

caught Jane Xie> day-dreaming at 5/06/2005 08:22:00 AM

life's a dream with its sunrises and sunsets

picturessssss! (:

they are UP!!!!
go pictures and find them.
latest's mayday with s66 classmates so u aunty gang can go get yeah (:
and pics with my acs kids! (:

caught Jane Xie> day-dreaming at 5/03/2005 10:11:00 PM

life's a dream with its sunrises and sunsets

?

seriously cant think of a blog title so, there. a ?.
ive yet to decide which name to take up. so suggest pls! (:
it's funny how i declared that elva's album is so boring
and now im enjoying it. WEIRD.
i kinda miss the times when i have a mind full of thoughts.
so i can sound like im a very complex person. (stupid as it is!)
but i'd still prefer this simple life i have.
focus is all i need.
u may not believe it, but life IS that simple.
but we CHOOSE to derail and cloud our minds.
i agree, it's a choice.
it always is.
ask me why?
i have no idea. that's something i cant fathom.
He promised us to give us all we want, as long as we ask for it and to qualify that,
whatever we ask for must be in His will.
why is it we can continue to be stubborn and refuse a space for Him in our hearts?
seriously, all we need is that step of faith.
sigh. i dont really understand how and why i rejected Him so many times as well.
if only i turned to Him sooner.
but shant be bogged down by the past. the past is as it is.
all i am interested in now is to live a victorious life for Him.
i hope i'll never forget that. really (:

jane, pls dont.

caught Jane Xie> day-dreaming at 5/02/2005 08:34:00 PM

life's a dream with its sunrises and sunsets

help me (:

all rights im adding a christian name to my existing xie zhen jane
so give me some suggestions and out of the following 10 pick one that suits me :)
by meaning and by how it will sound with jane!

danielle - God is my judge
gabrielle - God is my strength
Hannah - Blessed by God
Elizabeth - God's oath
Sarah - true princess
Esther - star
Eudora - Delightful gift
Rebecca - faithful one
Nadia - Hope
Yvette - God is merciful.

TAG!

caught Jane Xie> day-dreaming at 5/01/2005 10:59:00 PM

life's a dream with its sunrises and sunsets